


who's really there when you need it?

by sunfl0wers



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Coming Out, Nonbinary Character, Other, Protective Sam Wilson, Sam Wilson is a Gift, nb!bucky barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22537702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunfl0wers/pseuds/sunfl0wers
Summary: Bucky (really) needs someone to rant to. Sam obliges.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James “Bucky” Barnes/Sam Wilson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 65





	who's really there when you need it?

It’s 1:13 am in the morning inside a Burger King outside of NYC and two best friends are sitting in a booth in the back of the restaurant. They had recently finished with a classic “ _who can eat more?”_ competition. Bucky had won, yet again. In spite, Sam has been going on about the best kind of bird to get for a pet and why for the past twenty minutes. Realizing his companion hasn’t interrupted him, made some sort of dorky and rather horrible bird pun that Sam _certainly_ wouldn’t secretly find hilarious, or told him to shut up, he stops his evaluation on the subject of parakeets. 

He looks at Bucky, who is spacing out and staring at the beige wall in front of them, and speaks, “Hey idiot, are you even listening to what I’m saying?” 

When Bucky doesn’t respond, Sam tosses a leftover cold french fry at their face, smirking as it hits their forehead and falls onto the table. At that, Bucky blinks and speaks. 

“Uh, Nah. Sorry. Was spacing out. You’re not all that interesting to listen to.”

“Jerk,” Sam teases, his signature grin on his face as he chuckles. Bucky frowns and averts their eyes, mind spinning back into the hole it was in before. They could just pass it off as being distracted- but they didn’t want that. Not tonight.

Bucky sighs and looks down, voice wavering a little, “Actually, uh, Sammy?”

“Yeah,” Sam asks, the mood in the booth shifting as he notices the shift in Buckys tone. He leans over and sets his forearms on the table, racking his mind on the ways he usually uses to come off as approachable and kind. It’s unnerving to see his closest friend so unusually shaken.

“You think it’d be alright if I talked about some stuff that’s been on my mind?”  
“Of course. What’s going on?”

“Well… I’ve been feeling really out of place,” Bucky says and exhales deeply, taking a sip of soda.

“Out of place?”

“Yea... kinda. Like I don’t fully belong in one place or the other or any place. ‘Cus I really don’t. Everyone wants what they understand and that is a rather strict dichotomy I have no place in. I hate that everything has to be so gendered but that’s just the way it is, I guess. It really hurts though. My chest gets all tight and my stomach starts to feel queasy even thinking about it. I don’t want to have to come out to people every single day but I don’t want to get misgendered every day either and I know that even if I do come out some people won’t listen or won’t understand. So I’ll still get misgendered anyways. On top of that, people are violent too, and I don’t need any more of that shit in my life. But dysphoria fucking sucks and alleviating it feels so damn good. Like even a cashier not using pronouns or calling me sir or ma’am sticks with me all week long. And even if it doesn’t seem like it sometimes I want the people I care about to know me, all of me. And this just happens to be a part of me. But I also don’t want to lose some of the most important people in my life. God, I wanna fuckin hurl.” 

“We’re at Burger King. I’m not sure that’s the easiest food to have in your stomach,” quips Sam.

Bucky huffs and apologizes, “I’m sorry for ranting and putting all that on ya.”

“It’s alright. You obviously needed to and I’m always here to listen.”  
“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky mutters and looks into Sam’s eyes. After a moment, they lie back against the back of the booth and look up before continuing, “It has been a really rough month. Year, even. And I feel like the longer I was gonna go without talking about this the worse it would be for me bottling it all up. And honestly, I feel like it wouldn’t reflect well on me, ya know? I’m not getting any younger...”

“You shouldn’t feel the need to come out just so people take you seriously. People all have their own stories and do things on their own time, and that’s okay. And I doubt it was a safe environment for you growing up and you probably didn’t have all the words to explain how you feel that you do now,” Sam says, leaning forwards more and placing a hand on top of Buckys.

“You’re right, Sammy. You actually usually are. And cheesy.”

“I’m electing to ignore that last part. So, they/them pronouns?”

Bucky stays silent for a while, glancing down at their hands and chewing on their lip. The quiet trickle of customers in and out fills in the silence before Bucky sighs and mumbles, “Yep. No one else knows, though.”  
Sam nods, “Gottcha’. Do you want to go back home? I can tell you’re tired.”

“If you could even call Stark’s compound that. Ya mean, he hates cats.”

“I know, I know. We all know that’s the number one thing you want this Christmas.”  
“And you want a goddamn dog and birds.”  
“Which means we would need an apartment with outdoor space.”  
“And personal space for me to escape from your annoying ass.” 

“I get that,” Sam says, and the pair goes quiet. After a minute of companionable silence, Sam continues, “We could totally get our own place, you know. Stop joking about it and do it.”

“Me, you, and Steve?”

Sam pauses for a moment then responds, “That what you want?”

“I dunno. I think maybe it would be nice if it was just the two of us, actually.”

“Great minds think alike.”

At that, the pair slides out of their booth and leave the restaurant. Bucky feels as if they could let out a big sigh of relief and can’t help but let a smile grace their face. It really had been a rough week and they had been stressing out about the possibility of coming out to Sam. They had been planning to come out to him for a few months, but every time Bucky came close to doing it they had chickened out. They couldn’t be more content with how it went, though. Sam had reacted exactly how they had hoped he would. They were worried that even if he was accepting that he’d make a big deal about it or bombard them with a million questions, even though that doesn't seem like the Sam they know.


End file.
